Don't Fall In Love With Someone & Fall Out Of Love With Yourself
The ultimate trap in my eyes. I know you might not believe me, but I too have been in relationships that are toxic, lazy, abusive and destructive.
It’s so sad because love is something that should be praised and celebrated by all. But time and time again I see my friends falling into the trap of falling in love with someone, and falling out of love with someone else.
‘WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE, DON’T FORGET TO CONTINUE TO LOVE YOURSELF’
I have been so lucky in that I learnt some pretty crucial lessons when I was young, about life, love, and the world. Although going through these experiences were absolutely horrific, I even went through one breakup where I didn’t leave my bed for 3 days and then turned into a part time alcoholic but looking back, they have made me a better, stronger, smarter and more confident woman! And I am so thankful for that.
Recently I’ve seen a dear friend, let’s call her Jane for the sake of this story, fall in love with someone, and fall out of love with herself. Jane used to go to yoga on a Wednesday, she would take language class on a Thursday evening after work, enjoy work drinks with her colleagues and take any opportunity to organise a road trip or weekend get away. She was vivacious, full of energy and life and most importantly, she loved herself.
She met a man a few months ago, and since then everything has changed. She no longer goes to her yoga class or language class, she doesn’t see her friends much anymore and always skips afternoon work drinks to rush home to the BF.
‘spending time ALONE with your friends is a great way to maintain friendship & really connect with the inner YOU’
Don’t get me wrong, I am such a sucker for love. But I see “love” work in ways that are so destructive that I just couldn’t help to write about it.
Guys and Girls, I think it’s so important to always remember, when you fall in love, don’t forget to continue to love yourself, and to continue to keep falling in love with yourself each and every day.
When you enter into a new relationship, a lot changes! You have to start considering the emotions, decisions and time schedule of another human. You want to spend as much time with this special human as possible. And don’t forget the fact that all too often we make decisions in our life that are influenced by this special human, that we may not have made before if we were single.
My tips for loving YOURSELF when in a new relationship….
KEEP THAT ROUTINE GOING: although I may skip a 6am F45 class slightly more often than I used to, exercise is such a big part of my life and my physical and mental health. Keeping your exercise routines regular and positive is so important!
NIGHTS APART: as much as you want to be snuggled up to your lover every single night of the week, spending a night apart does wonders for the mind and the body. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
SOCIALISING SEPARATELY: going out for drinks or dinner with your friends alone is the best! Although having your partner there can also be amazingly fun, spending time alone with your friends is a great way to maintain friendship and really connect with the inner YOU.
SIBLING TIME: it’s so easy to bring your lover into special time with your siblings…. you’re all family right? WRONG! Some of the most beautiful times that I have in my week are with my sisters and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I feel that when I’m with my sisters, the bond is so deep and so real, I don’t want to mess with that!
MENU LOG AND UBER EATS IS FUN BUT SO IS COOKING: I see so many couples falling into the trap of just ordering menu log or uber eats every night and eating on the couch with the TV on. Yup, this is awesome sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE ordering my favourite asian food and veging out, but nothing is more rewarding than going to the supermarket and making a healthy and delicious meal with your lover.
TV AND PHONES: Ok. This is a big one. Quality time is huge. Not only with your special human, but also with yourself. It absolutely blows my mind when I read the statistics on how much time the average human spends on social media, TV, or just technology in general every day! Screen off when you’re alone or with your boo, it makes the WORLD of a difference! I’d opt for lying in bed talking about travel dreams and plans over scrolling on instagram on the couch any day!